“Here” is in a predicament where I will have to do some fancy footwork in order to right the boat I’m trying to sail towards the horizon in. The apartment thing is getting old. I have to get out of this apartment. I’ve been here nearly two years, and the rent has increased by over fifty dollars, I am always battling some insect or other (whether it be wasps building nests outside my door, palmetto bugs aka big flying roaches, spider colonies on my door, or roaches), and they held a rent check for months then posted it with another rent check and overdrafted my account phenomenally. I paid half of the check that bounced and a whole month’s rent, and have to come up with the rest today. It’s extremely hard to come up with an extra month’s rent on a fixed income, so other bills have had to go unpaid just to get this far.
So now I am looking for another apartment and trying my hardest to get my bills back on schedule. Because of my lease date, the really cheap, high quality semi-student housing is out–they won’t be leasing in my window. I could sign a 7 month lease at one place and put myself back in the window, but who wants to move twice in one year? Of course, there is the very distant possibility that I could get married and the 7 month lease will work well then as well, but we know from previous posts, that MensHealth is nowhere near making his mind up about that. If I did do the seventh month lease, when I moved to the semi-student housing, my bills would go down $200-300 instantly (rent & utilities) from the current rate. But I’d have to move twice.
I am so tired of struggling. I’ve had these same struggles before. As John Mayer sings “Don’t you think we oughta learned by now? Don’t you think we oughta learned somehow?” I am doing everything in my power to make this work, and it’s not working.
MensHealth and I are still pretty much in a holding pattern, no closer or farther away from married life and al that jazz. He got his promotion, but not the raise he wanted/expected. He is still preoccupied with other aspects of life. We spend every weekend together, and we meet up throughout the week when we are both free, but as far as I’ve been privy to, nothing has changed.
I went to the movies by myself last week. Aside from a few weeks before that, it had been a while since I had been alone. I have begun to branch back out and do things for me, like going out with one of my girlfriends for dinner, going to the movies alone, working on branding my other blogs, and trying to discover my fitness passion. I’ve been on the journey back to me a time or two as well.
The best thing about all of this is that I’ve seen it before. I’m not going through anything new. Hopefully, I’ve learned something from the previous time and can show you what I’ve learned.
I’ve been working on my “war strategies” all morning long. I’ve written down a plan of action and began making a list of what needs to change. It’s time to live & die by the lists again, I see. Here we go…