Forgive Me, Wordpress, I Have Sinned

Latter-day Saints believe in the resurrected J...

Come Unto Me Ye That Labor and are Heavy Laden... Image via Wikipedia

*Note: I’m not Catholic, but the title was catchy. I apologize in advance if anyone was/is offended by my co-opting of this phrase.

Forgive my emo post from yesterday. I’ve been having a super rough week (and it’s only Wednesday!). I’ve been thinking so deeply about things because of my commitment to evaluate and access this month in preparation to move forward on goals and progress in life in general that the lack of progress in my relationship at the moment in the direction I want it to go loomed larger than life.

The truth is, if I were the sort of girl who stamped her foot when she lost her patience with the status quo, I’d be stamping my foot right now. I’d be saying Okay, I’ve been patient and done things your way, and nothing has happened; it’s time to do things my way!

But who would I be talking to? Certainly not MensHealth. I realized I’d be talking to God. I’ve asked Him for clarity in my relationship. I’ve asked Him  to help me advance in my career. He’s the one I asked to help me get my finances in order.

God would turn to me and say

You asked me for these things, then you sat around and waited for them to fall from the sky. I never promised you that would happen. Christianity is about action as much as faith; you have to step out (action) on faith. Faith is something you have to use.

Besides, I haven’t heard from you in days. You’re responsible for calling on me to refocus yourself, comfort yourself, keep close to me, so that I can help you. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you, but I don’t strengthen from a distance. Draw nigh to me and I’ll draw nigh to you. It was you who walked away and stopped consulting me; I haven’t stepped out for a smoke or stopped listening.

OK, so maybe God doesn’t quite talk that way, but you get the picture. My focus has been all wrong. I’ve been so focused on the outside manifestations of God’s blessings, I haven’t borne any fruit of the spirit in a long time.

So I apologize for taking my frustrations out on you, and I repent to God for being frustrated with Him. I confess I’ve lost my focus, and am prayerful I’ll be able to bring it back to where it needs to be.

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