I Hope Your Heart Has Grown Fonder

I’ve been absent lately, mainly because I’ve been busy, but also because I didn’t feel like writing. Have you ever had one of those days you feel as if your brain emits a buzzing sound when you try to think, or even a piercing, elongated beep? I’ve had a few of those days recently, and it comes from overwork, amongst other things.

I presented what I had come up with to the education committee and got a date for the program, along with the go ahead to draft a program/listing of events. Everyone seemed impressed with how much planning and research I put into it, but I wouldn’t do this halfheartedly. I remember how much about college I had to learn after I’d gotten to campus, at how much of a disadvantage that put me; if I was going to talk to young people about college, I wouldn’t just push them to go to college, I would let them know exactly what the process entails.

One of the board members who came in late was concerned that we were going to rush the planning of the program and put on something subpar. The meeting was Saturday (the 5th) and the actual program is the 26th. She didn’t want to glaze over anything or not cover things because of how fast we had to “throw it together.” I couldn’t help but take offense to this. I’ve been planning this agenda for weeks, months even. I’ve tracked down examples for handouts and tapped people to help present. I decided that parents needed to be present as well, and that meals should be provided. I knew we needed several hours to cover this material. I know she meant well and I tried hard not to be offended or sound defensive when I responded to her, but it hurt that someone would think I’d shortchange the youth in this way. It was like saying all of the effort I’d put into it thus far was subpar.

There are still a lot of little things to do. I have to organize the food and serving the food, organize the agenda for the day, find ice breakers and ways to break up the information to keep the teenagers interested. I still have to make sure everyone we want for the break sessions after lunch will be available. But for the most part, the major things have been established. I’ve got the day and time, the support for talking about different areas, and everyone seems eager to get this underway. I’m not laboring on my own now, which has me feeling a peculiar double minded way: at the same time that I’m happy not to be burdened with the entire thing, it’s hard to let other people put their hands in. This project is kind of my baby.

As far as other projects, I haven’t been as successful. I haven’t done any exercising that would count towards the thirty day challenge in weeks, so I’ll have to start again. The worst part about it is I really could have used the calm, endorphins, and energy that doing exercise has been known to provide me with.

Tonight is the Single’s Ministry meeting. I’m not sure if I’m going or not. I’ve been a bit rundown lately. I left work early yesterday before my head exploded. My sinuses hurt, I had a migraine-esque headache (complete with nausea), and I hadn’t had much sleep the night before. I went home at lunchtime, ate, took some asprin, and laid down. After a restorative rest, I watched Hope Springs & The Blind Side before ordering a pizza for dinner, talking to Mom and falling asleep watching Cold Case Files (the show about actual cases, not the drama of the same name).

This morning, I felt much better. All I needed was a little TLC and I’m (almost) as good as new.

This entry was posted in Balance, This Is How I Really Feel. Bookmark the permalink.

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