Pondering the Future

Mark Twain
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I must say, so far 2012 has been good to me. I got a pay raise, I’m in a job that challenges me a bit and I actually like, I’m getting a new TV, I have money to catch up on bills and make some financial goals, I’m pondering a move in apartments and making myself a home…in some respects, the year is ready to be taken by force.

But there are still some things that are dim, some areas of life where I don’t have that same confidence that I’ll be able to reach the goals I’ve set, or where I don’t know what will happen. I don’t know if I’ll manage to put out a book this year. I know I want to put out a book, and I want to put out a book that people will love and will buy. Yet this goal is not as tangible as my financial goals have become.

There’s also the relationship thing. Who knows where we’ll be at the end of 2012? We are in our 4th year here, and something has to happen one way or another, but what will it be? I’m no stranger to long term couples without commitment splitting up, yet our relationship seems strong and we’re honest with each other. Still, I don’t like the feeling of twiddling my thumbs or waiting for the ax to fall. But there are two people in a relationship, and both have to be ready to make the next step, whatever it is.

There are many things for me to look forward to this year, and there are many things for me to wonder about. I am still not where I want to be as an almost 27 year old (!!). There are things I still want to do and see, things I thought I would have accomplished by now, and things that seemed to have gotten pushed so far into the future that I can’t even see them anymore. What I do know is that this will be a year of transition for me; if nothing else, it’s a transition from more month at the end of the money to barely making ends meet.

What do you see in store for you this year?

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2 Responses to Pondering the Future

  1. aawwa says:

    Be kind to yourself – from my experience at 57 years old – there are still things I want to achieve – we can only do what we can do!

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts – I enjoyed reading you blog and could relate – even though I am 30 years older!

    cheers
    Lorraine

    • 2blu2btru says:

      Thanks for the reply. It’s amazing how true it is that every stage of life, we still feel as if we didn’t do something we should have done already, or did too much of what we shouldn’t. It keeps us pushing and seeking and striving, though. It gives us something to look forward to. That’s how I’m trying to see it, anyway.

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