Admitting Defeat

This week, I’ve been given more responsibilities at work in addition to what I already had to do, responsibilities that take a lot of my time. I should have said a long time ago that I wouldn’t be able to do any more, or even needed a task or two taken away, but I have an ego/ fear problem. I’m a competitive person. As long as the other coordinators weren’t complaining and could still keep up, I wasn’t going to complain, either. Never mind the fact that we all do different things and I can’t measure my work against theirs; I should be able to be superwoman. Add to this the fact that I am frightened to death of being fired (even after being with the company over three years), and you have a perfect cocktail for getting overworked in silence.

I finally was able to let my boss know I needed to bow out of a few non-essential tasks, and asked for some things I need to organize myself. I hated having to admit that I wasn’t going to be able to keep up with demand, but better that than to under perform. So I am on the road to becoming acclimated with the changes at work.

There are a lot of changes on the horizon in my life, and I must admit that I hate change. I must also admit that change is inevitable and will continue to happen. I can decide to spend precious time grumbling and fighting the inevitable, or I can learn to move with the changes. There is a season for everything and things are always coming into full bloom and having their moment; I have to embrace this season of change and let it grow me.

I’m experience a personality shift. The mainstays of my personality have been solidified by the trials and tribulations of the past few years, but now I’m experiencing circumstances that are refining my character. There is always room to grow. Anything that isn’t growing is dead, and I’m not dead, so I have to grow.

Time to go to work.


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