Taking a Big Step in an Unknown Direction

Warning: Long post ahead

I’ve been struggling with whether or not to share something here. I know, this is my “personal blog,” the blog on which I share all of the personal details that I’m trying to work through as well as personal triumphs and zany TMI questions, but there are some things I don’t know if I should share. It used to be that this blog wasn’t tied to any of my social networking and that only those who gravitated here from blogland (who I didn’t know personally) would read it. I loved the fact that most of you had no personal investment one way or the other and didn’t know us well enough for that to color your opinion. Now, however, it’s a little bit different.

It’s not like you all don’t know some major things about me and this area of my life. You know about the real Decision 2012, my counseling sessions, and my general lack of a filter in some areas. You know what INEBIGTDIA means. You know about my recent wedding blog addiction. You even know a thing or two about my lady bizness. And perhaps this latest thing isn’t even that big of a deal. It’s not like I’ve gotten engaged to or broken up with MensHealth in the last few weeks. It’s not like this is something I never intended to do…

To take some of the pressure off, I am not sharing this on twitter or anywhere else. It’s just a blog post. Just an anonymous drop in the ocean of internet blogging, indistiguishable from so many others (and it would be just my luck that something like this would be freshly pressed! Gah!).

OK, enough putting it off. In the spirit of INEBIGTDIA, I’m just going to say it and get it over with: MensHealth and I are going to be beginning pre-marital counseling. I’ll give you a moment to take in everything I’ve said thus far in this entry so you can fully grasp the “huh?” in that statement.

Got it?

OK.

MensHealth and I (who are not engaged, and at this point are still not sure we WILL get engaged) are heading to pre-marital counseling (aka, counseling to prepare for MARRIAGE). GAH! Who does this?! Here’s how this conversation went:

MH: I have something I want to talk to you about.

2blu: OK.

*I ask what, he says later. I get off work and he picks me up. I complain about my entire day, then remember he wants to ask me something. He says later. We get to my place, and as I am cooking dinner…*

MH: So, how do you feel about us starting pre-marital counseling?

2blu2btru: (bending over and sticking head in the oven) I like pre-marital counseling. I think it’s important to have. *Other slightly inane comments*

MH: This doesn’t mean that we’re getting engaged. *explains how he wants to do pre-marital counseling before engagement, as when he gets engaged, there is no turning back*

2blu: *thinking to myself* Say what?

This is how I feel and what I wanted to say (and did say…most of it):

I think pre-marital counseling is a great idea…for a couple that is going to get married. I don’t know if it has the same effectiveness for someone who hasn’t even decided that they want to get married. If you haven’t decided that you are going to get married and are going to learn any skills you may need to make you’re marriage successful, what are you getting out of it? I know there are people who have gone to pre-marital counseling and have decided not to get married, but really, we’ve been dating nearly five years!

However, I can understand his need to be sure. If going to pre-marital counseling will help him make up his mind about whether or not he wants to move forward with getting engaged, then I’m willing to go. If we were engaged, I would do it. I think it’s a little putting the cart before the horse, but at least both cart and horse are going somewhere.

So, we’ve taken a step in…some direction. We’ll see which one it is soon. But first, St. Augustine, a new camera, and maybe you’ll finally get to see 2blu2btru in the flesh. 😉

XOXO

2blu2btru

MH:

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This entry was posted in In My Head I Was Thinking..., This Is How I Really Feel and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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